10 signs you're heading back to America

My hometown. Franchement, I got teary eyed.

1. Everyone's speaking English. Loudly.
2. Too much ice in the water glass. 
3. Blue jeans and tennis shoes.
4. Beach boys radio station on the plane.
5. Smiling! Oh, I really missed smiling at strangers.
6. You have to take your shoes off to go through airport security (go, DHS!)
7. Nutrition facts no longer contain calories (vs. kilocalories) or irrational serving sizes. 
8. You're flight attendant's name is Cathy and she's maybe the nicest person you've ever met (hello, customer service!). 
9. You can see baseball fields from the plane window. 
10. Economic propaganda commercials by CNBC: "capitalize on it"

RDU -- 22 hours without sleep!

The good in goodbye

Peur du jour- 13 Mai 2012: Leaving Montpellier

 This was a hard and long goodbye. It felt worse than leaving Grayslake on a hot and humid August morning in 2010 to start my Freshman year of college. I remember weeping over the distance between me and my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my pets, everything that was comfortable, and everything that I had mastered.

It felt worse than driving away from Chapel Hill on that rainy night in December 2011 when I got sentimental about leaving my dorm, my friends, my classes, that beautiful campus, and the home I had managed to build. I was scared about how everything would change without me, about being left behind, about losing my place in everyone's lives after being absent for so long.

It even felt worse than hugging my mom goodbye at O'Hare on a snowy evening this past January. I was heart-broken, scared, and completely clueless of what lie ahead of me.

But in all of these instances, I was leaving something old for something new. I knew when I would return to my loved ones, to my homes. But this goodbye is different. I'm not going anywhere new; I'm going home. I get to see my parents, my siblings, my best friends, my cat, my house, my stomping grounds. I'm going back to where they speak English and where ice cream is cheap and abundant and where smiling like a goon in public is no weirder than hugging your friend hello or excessively saying "sorry" for everything.

But I'm scared that after the hugs and the ice cream, all I'll be able to think about is Montpellier. The town where I realized how God has graced me with family all over the world. The town where I realized that my level of French is strong enough for me to make friends who have never heard me speak English, participate in religious discussions, stand up to rude bouncers, and write ten page research papers. The town where I learned to appreciate moving slower, drinking in everything around me, and enjoying good company, good food, and good wine. The town where I really experienced true joy.

I am leaving this town at the height of my passion for it. It's only now starting to come alive, to become warm and green, to become Montpellier at its best. I feel like I'm cutting off something too soon, like I will never really know how great things could have been because my stay was only four and a half months.

And I don't know when I'm coming back. But there's joy in the unknown. I don't know when I'm coming back. It could be in ten years (I really hope not), it could be after I graduate, or it could be next summer. Who knows? My life is wide open. Opportunities are ripe for the picking. I know that my desire to keep the friends and family I've found in France is strong enough to bring me back to them. I'll leave the when and the how to figure out another day. Until then, I'll hold the feeling of the Montpellier sunshine close to my heart.

Happy 10-week-versary!

Today marks the precise halfway point of my time in Europe! It's kind of crazy to think of all that has happened in the first half of my trip. I've definitely grown a lot and learned a lot and experienced new things and met interesting people and seen beyond-incredible sights.

When I first got here, I wasn't 100% comfortable. The beginning of anything is always somewhat strange... It's uncomfortable to feel displaced (I definitely had my fair share of culture shock moments). It was also way too cold (I WOULD pick the year that Europe sets record lows). And of course, there was that language thing. It's not that I didn't want to be here or that I was necessarily unhappy, but I am just someone who is so used to habit and routine. It has taken time for me to feel like I am living here and not just someone who is passing through (though, in essence, that is what I'm doing). But I have taken the effort to connect with Montpellier and with French people which has made a world of difference. If  you ever think about studying abroad, MAKE NATIVE FRIENDS. It takes effort, but it has definitely been worth it. I came here to live France, not visit it.

As I get more and more comfortable and make more and more connections, I can tell that it's going to be hard to leave. I know I'm still going to be excited to go home (I can't stop dreaming about Mexican food), and I'd be lying if I said I didn't have Carolina In My Mind, but with every passing day I see a little more of how these twenty weeks are going to shape me for the rest of my life.


Phew. Deep.

Here's another kitty I saw in Saint-Guilhem to lighten the mood!

Also: Proof that I'm always proud to be a Tar Heel! (It spells CAROLINA :)

PS) I've put the links for my bucket list and the French foods that I've eaten in an easy-to-locate place at the bottom of the right-hand side bar. Feel free to check them out on a regular basis (especially the food one which I update nearly every day)!

Every journey begins with a single step

Hello, blogosphere (or, at the very least, friends and family)!

I am still on American soil, but figured I would use this first post to outline what you can expect as a reader of this blog:

•  Background: In 5 days I will be traveling via car, plane, and train to Montpellier, France. There I will be hosted by a French family, take courses at the University of Paul-Valéry (UPV III) and Accent Français, and hopefully learn what it means to live la vie française.
  
• Frequency: My goal will be to post at least once a week, on Wednesdays. Think of it as your hump day treat! Keep your eyes peeled, because I may move to bi- or tri-weekly.
• Format: Every day while I am abroad, I am going to do something that scares me (mom and dad, don't worry. I'm not going to be careless and you won't have to pull a Liam Neeson). In the beginning it will probably be things like ordering in French, buying things in French, speaking with natives in French, taking courses in French (can you tell I have anxiety about this?), but hopefully it will evolve into more meaningful and memorable things.
  
  I got this idea from my hairdresser who said if I do one thing a day that scares me, I will know that I'm really making the most of my experience. I'm going to write them all down in the journal that my lovely roommate got me for Christmas, and at the end of my trip I'll have 140 mini-fears which I overcame. The best peurs du jour will be posted on the blog! 

C'est tout for now. I will spend my last five days in the United States with friends and family and wonderfully delicious Chicago food.

À mercredi!

PS) Check out my french bucket list!